Listening: With Respect

I am in a conversation with a senior colleague. He has his laptop open in front of him. His mobile phone close to him. I am also holding my mobile phone. While we are discussing, I can see him steal occasional glances on his laptop screen, which has the Outlook open. A ping on his mobile and he reads the SMS which has just landed. Little later, while continuing to listen, he also responds to an urgent email. These tasks were probably more productive use of time by multitasking, being current with emails and ensuring speed of response, while also trying to listen to me.

But what happened to the listening during this conversation? Did I feel listened to? How did his brain manage this switching over from listening to responding to emails or to reading the SMS? Did he listen to me? Did I feel listened to? Wasn't he saying that his time is more important than my time? or that responding to email was more important than listen to me? Was he demonstrating respect for me and for what I was saying? How do you think this affected my own thoughts and what and how I told him after that?

Do you also find yourself checking your emails or responding to SMS, or taking a phone call, during a conversation, meeting in your office? Do you also listen to your spouse, while also reading a newspaper, with your face hidden?

What is likely to be the end result of such a conversation or a meeting? What could be its long term repercussions on relationships, effectiveness at work, achieving the purpose of the meeting / conversation?

I invite you to listen with intent in your next conversation. Listen to the spoken words, unspoken words, observe the emotions in the person's eyes, notice the facial expressions, notice the changes in posture and be fully present during the conversation. Let the other person(s) present feel respected, by your listening.