Listening: Without Judgement

Most of the time, when we are awake, Listening is one of the five senses, which continuously provides us with sensory inputs. Most part of it is unconscious listening. This may be people talking around me but not to me, people talking to me, traffic noise, constant hum of the Tubelights / fans / Air conditioners, watching television, listening to FM radio at home or while in a car etc... Isn't it amazing that we consciously register only a very small portion of it.

So when I do actually listen to another person, what happens? How do I listen to when I am talking to another human being? What are the thoughts which are coming in, as I listen to the other person? What am I thinking when the other person is speaking? How often do I interrupt my listening while the other person continues to speak to me?

Let's first focus on what is going on inside my mind as I listen to the other person speak to me:

1. Judging what the other person is saying: I already know this. This will not work. He / She is at it again. We have tried this before.
2. What should be my response?
3. I need to interrupt this person and express my views.

When I start judging what the other person is saying, what happens to my listening from that moment onwards? I start juggling between my judgement and trying to see what the other person is saying now. But hold on, I can either be judging or be listening. I am unable to do both simultaneously. And how do I normally judge? I do it by applying the filters of my beliefs, values, and prior experiences. I am actually listening from my past or my being, without recognising that no two people have the same set of beliefs, values and experiences.

So what do I do now? Just Listen with an open mind, without trying to judge or evaluate the other person at the same time. Hey, I am able to better listen and understand the essence of what the other person is saying.

When I listen with an open mind, without judging what the person is saying, but just listen and try to understand, what the person is really trying to tell me, then my anxiety to give an immediate response reduces dramatically.

So what do I do now: Just listen to the other person, with an open mind, listen with intent, listen with my eyes, with my complete presence, what the other person is saying.

And see what happens .... Check it out yourself in your next conversation with your spouse or colleague or customer or your boss.