Very often during the meetings in office, I would listen to first one or two sentences, spoken by a particular person, and I would immediately conclude, what the person is going to say further, why that person will say so, what are the underlying motivations and self-interests of that person. And my listening would have anyway automatically stopped, inferences made by me, perhaps my body language displaying my mental state to that person and others present.
So what really happened. As soon as a person begins to speak, I bring out the my own "Lens", which I have in my mindset, of that person, and start listening (or not listening) or talking (or not talking), to that person speak, through that lens. And the end result of the conversation would be along the similar lines as in the past. There is staleness and no newness, already always listening, past creeps into the present, and what I create is only an extension or reflection of the past. Does this create any possibilities for me or that person? Does such a listening energise me or that person? What changes did such a listening cause in the speaking of that person?
Does this situation sound familiar to you? What's the alternative to this "Already Always Listening," which can create powerful possibilities for both the persons? I learnt this about six months ago, while I was being trained to become a Coach. And the solution lies in listening from a state of "Innocence." Now innocence to me is more of a way a Child listens, a child whose listening has not yet been conditioned by the external environment. Innocence means being fully present for that person, without any kind of lens, like that of the pristine transparent waters of a stream flowing down a hill, after a good rain, with all the dirt settled in the past, already washed away. Listening from innocence to me now means, wanting that person to tell me more, and truly wanting to seek to understand the essence of what the person is saying. It also means to listen with no judgement, no self talk, and just listen to the words, feelings, body language, eyes, tone, and essence of that person. And what do you think are the payoffs for me? Let me keep them a secret for the time being and allow you to try listening from Innocence and check out for yourself, what magic happens?
